i guess this is the point in my life
where life and reality comes crashing over me.
when i realize that more people than i would ever know or
like to know are depending  on me.
when too much pressure starts to take its toll.
when i start dreading being alone, for
fear of losing it and just crying.
when reaching an endless list of goals
not even made by me, seems impossible.
where the path to my future seems rocky,
endless, tiring, with many sleepless nights ahead.
when an unending, nver ceasing amount
of expectations strip me of my life.

it doesn't matter what i want or how i want it.
it never matters once reality sinks in.
this is my life now and how it has always been.
that is how i must live it. forever.